English - annotated exemplars level 2 AS91105 (B)

Use information literacy skills to form developed conclusion(s) (2.8B)

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Extracts have been selected from both the research process and the final report.

Low Excellence

CommentaryStudent response

To achieve this standard at Excellence the student needs to: use information literacy skills to form developed and perceptive conclusion(s).

The student uses information literacy skills to form developed and perceptive conclusion(s) by:

  • framing the enquiry within an authentic relevant context; identifying a direction for investigation; selecting, using, connecting and evaluating the reliability and usefulness of all six sources of information.
  • consistently comparing, contrasting, explaining and connecting information to the research questions, by the use of appropriate language choices : An article shows…; these include…;all of these influences…; another of my sources…;to the contrary ...; the article states …;another powerful...;in many situations ...;also a soldier can. These build toward a well-reasoned conclusion, displaying insight: The chief trigger of genocide is us. We as a people are responsible, maybe not directly but the world has looked on silently as millions of people suffer. (Paragraph 2)
  • reaching a decision, expressing an insightful opinion and making a judgement on the explanations offered as the reason for genocide: But at one point or another, these people truly believed in their cause; if not, genocide would cease to exist … By ignoring their pleas, they are no better than the people doing the actual killing, raping and pillaging … By taking a neutral position when confronted with genocide, you are essentially supporting the process. (Paragraph 4)
  • building to the perceptive conclusion that “evil lurks within all of us” (Paragraph 8)  by:
    • referring to lists and statistics of perpetrators and victims: the website … offers several figures of the deaths caused by genocide and mans brutality (Paragraph 5)
    • using a relevant image  … just as a school bully can assert his power over a weaker student by pure physical intimidation, a minority group may be victimized by a more powerful majority (Paragraph 3)
    • providing anecdotal evidence … shows a firsthand account of common citizens supporting genocide and acting against the targeted ‘gypsies’ … actually experienced pleasure whilst torturing another human being. (Paragraph 6)  

To meet Excellence more securely some information was provided towards the end of the work which needed to be further developed and integrated into the final conclusion:

  • “Hate and killing can become a habit and a ‘norm’ of a soldier’s daily life.” The student could explore the tension in retaining humanity and at the same time following orders to kill which is what a soldier is trained to do. (Paragraph 6)
  • Another of my sources … suggested that genocide in the 20th century was more present as a result of the advances made in technology. Even in third world countries, with little or no modern advancements in technology, mass death can be accomplished ... The student challenges the idea that 20th century genocide was more prevalent as a result of modern advances in technology.  Underlying factors that cause genocide could be drawn for a more perceptive conclusion. (Paragraph 7)

Student 1 (PDF, 339KB)

High Merit

CommentaryStudent response

To achieve this standard at Merit the student needs to: use information literacy skills to form developed and convincing conclusion(s).

The student uses information literacy skills to form developed and convincing conclusion(s) by:

  • framing the enquiry within an authentic, relevant context and identifying a direction for investigation.
  • selecting, using, connecting and evaluating the reliability and usefulness of selected information (see second paragraph of student work). (Paragraph 2)
  • making a convincing judgement based on a range of definitions gathered in the research process. These definitions portray ambition to be more than just a desire and fit in with my original definition and idea of what ambition was … a number of writers defined ambition … This idea of ambition doesn’t …These writers see ambition as … (Paragraph 3)
  • building towards a well-reasoned conclusion by examining, comparing,   commenting and reflecting on a range of perspectives, opinions and attitudes about the topic:  So generally people would perceive ambition to have positive effects on their life. But does it really? … All of these points backed up my original thought about ambition and the positive …  However, a study done on  www…. on students who attended … A similar point is made … The idea  of how … not taken into account  is explored on … It becomes obvious from these sources that ambition  can take its toll on  …  have negative effect.(Paragraph 4)
  • reaching a decision about the positive and negative effects of ambition which is clearly connected to the research and which begins to show some insight into the complexities of the topic: It is important for people who have ambition to exist, for humankind to progress and discover new … However the research has made me realise how ambition isn’t always a positive thing. (Paragraph 5)

To meet Excellence the report needs to consistently move on from the assembling, reflecting and commenting on the gathered data to produce more perceptive conclusions showing insight and perhaps some originality.  For example, the following statements could be explained, analysed and/or investigated:

  • "It is also usually associated with people achieving something which betters them as a person" ("better person" could be developed).
  • "The Life Plan says that if ambition is nurtured in children they will 'be stretched' and will develop creative thinking and learn to influence others" (the link between "creativity" and "ambition" could be investigated). (Paragraph 4)

Student 2 (PDF, 718KB)

Low Merit

CommentaryStudent response

The student uses information literacy skills to form sufficiently developed and convincing  conclusion(s) by:

  • framing the enquiry from an authentic English context; posing questions; selecting, using and evaluating six appropriate information strategies and sources (see second paragraph of student work). (Paragraph 2)
  • reaching a decision about the reasons that people believe in prophecies by comparing two sources, analysing the explanations offered and reaching a reasoned conclusion: So even though people believe they have freewill, when it comes to believing in the future through prophecy, the reality is that most people who are obsessed by prophecy do so because something has happened throughout their life … So they turn to prophecy for the feeling of comfort, and assurance, because if their life means nothing, what’s the point of life? (Paragraph 3)
  • offering an opinion and making a judgement about the influence of prophecies, after researching a range of referenced sources, citing specific examples and then building to a reasoned conclusion: In fact often they do come true because you believe it so strongly that you make it come true (Paragraph 4)

and

  • But people still believe in them. This is because they want to believe in prophecy so much, for reasons stated above. (Paragraph 4)

To meet Merit more securely all information needs to be clearly connected to another convincing conclusion. Later paragraphs in the report tend to focus on providing information, often just "more of the same", rather than building on the information in order to develop more convincing conclusions.

Student 3 (PDF, 666KB)

High Achieved

CommentaryStudent response

To achieve this standard at Achievement the student needs to: use information literacy skills to form developed conclusion(s).

The student uses information literacy skills to form developed conclusion(s) by:

  • framing the enquiry from an authentic, relevant English context: In class this year we have been studying a range a texts that deal with the topic of deception and manipulation and posing questions: Does reality television reflect real life? And is reality TV harmful?
  • selecting and using appropriate information strategies to locate, process and evaluate information from seven sources (see references and notes/evaluation grid)
  • expressing opinions and suggesting a solution about the effects of reality tv, based on the information gathered: there is potential for reality television to cause harm. But if we teach our youth that all is not what it may seem on reality shows and that they are purely made for entertainment, we may start to have a media savvy generation who realise that the actions and behaviours demonstrated on such shows shouldn’t be accepted or mirrored in real life.

Through the piece the student builds judgments and opinions, supported and based on the information gathered, leading towards a more convincing conclusion (as required for Merit):

reality television doesn’t depict real life. While watching these shows we should remember that they are made purely for entertainment and anything that is said or happens on the shows should be taken with a grain of salt because it may not reflect what has actually happened or be put out of context. But being put in the category of “reality” tv. can and does cause confusion for some because they believe that with the title of reality, they are seeing raw, firsthand footage of what actually happens in others’ lives.

The student expresses opinions about the information gathered in the research process, moving towards a more “connected” conclusion (see introduction):

This would suggest that it’s harmful for the people who star in such shows, and for their family’s too because they are possibly contractually obliged to pretend that who they are on the show is who they also are in real life. This could lead to contestants having personality or social type disorders.

Which is something that today’s age see very little of. What we need to be doing is finding out what the youth are viewing the most (which from the articles I have read, points to mostly reality shows) and demonstrate that there will be consequences to negative actions and behaviours, if we are to have a more wholesome, morally and ethically accepted society.

To meet the standard at Merit the work needs to provide a more convincingly developed conclusion about the effects of reality tv on behaviours of young people. Opinion is given about the behaviour of the student’s peers as an effect of reality tv. This opinion is anecdotal and not yet based on information gathered in the inquiry process.  

Student 4 (PDF, 174KB)

Low Achieved

CommentaryStudent response

The student uses information literacy skills to form sufficiently developed conclusion(s) by:

  • framing the enquiry and selecting and using appropriate strategies for locating and processing information from six well referenced sources
  • establishing an appropriate authentic context from the context of the English programme
  • evaluating the reliability and usefulness of some information and/or sources. For example: The writer of the book is the child in the story. He is writing about his traumatic events he went through each day. It might not be that reliable though because it is told from his point of view and also based on memories he had as a child. (Student notes)
  • reaching a decision based on the information gathered from more than one source. For example: I believe that the findings of both these sources are true: no one can be born bad. They have to experience bad behaviour in order for them to know what bad is, they can’t just be born a bad person, they have to know what bad and wrong behaviour is. This also shows me that abusive behaviour can affect children in a way that makes them think that they are beaten because it’s their fault. (Paragraph 2)
  • making a judgement based on controversial viewpoints from two different sources. For example: My view on this then, is that one society’s beliefs may led them to interpret acts as good, whereas those identical acts by another society and This shows me another side of "good" and "bad"- in that obeying authority be seen as being more "good" than actually doing a good act. (Paragraph 3)
  • building a conclusion from the information gathered. For example: Therefore we need to think carefully before we act what are our reasons and what our beliefs  are - are we doing it because we think it is inherently right or because society does?. (Paragraph 3)

To meet Achievement more securely the work requires further development of the response to the question What leads people to do good and bad actions? Their beliefs, or are they just born to be good or bad?  There are also a number of opinions given and generalisations made without any reference to research, unacknowledged quotations and unsubstantiated conclusions. 

Student 5 (PDF, 637KB)

 

High Not Achieved

CommentaryStudent response

The student demonstrates the use of information literacy skills by:

  • framing the enquiry within an authentic relevant context. A direction for investigation is established, derived from the context of the English programme
  • selecting and using appropriate strategies for locating and processing information
  • evaluating the reliability and usefulness of selected information.

The work does not yet demonstrate the use of information literacy skills to form developed conclusion(s). Information is selected and summarised with quotations from the sources. However the conclusion of this section is insufficiently developed: It means different things to different people in different situations. Other sections are similarly undeveloped. (Paragraph 5)

The student is beginning to work towards a developed conclusion in the last section: As we have seen, the way ambition is used has an effect on the results gained. Used positively, ambition is a powerful force to reach the set objectives. Used negatively it can be equally powerful but ultimately destructive, but the point is not sufficiently developed or clearly enough linked to the quoted source. (Paragraph 6)

To meet Achievement, conclusions must be developed by building on the information gained. Rather than just summarising the information, an opinion or judgement must be expressed or a decision reached as to the nature of ambition and its effect/s.

Student 6 (PDF, 486KB)

 
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