Drama- annotated exemplars level 2 AS 91220

Script a scene suitable for drama performance (2.8)

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TKI Drama Assessment Resources

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Low Excellence

  CommentaryStudent response

For Excellence, the student needs to script an effective scene suitable for drama performance.

This involves the student scripting an original dramatic work that is able to be performed. The scripted drama will be convincing, capture the essence of the dramatic context, and have impact and originality.

Script title: Beaten Angel

This student has scripted a scene that communicates the intention (1). Interaction between the two women throughout the scene is economical, purposeful and convincing. This scene uses features of Absurdist theatre purposefully, to explore and expose the tension between the women (2). Silences speak volumes (3) and convincingly capture the essence of the dramatic context.

The characters are developed to have depth (5) and we can follow their emotional journey through the scene. The use of the ‘mantra’ by Sarah conveys how she has been convinced that this is an ‘ok’ situation to be in and how she must deserve what is happening somehow. It creates impact, as the words ring out but somehow fail to ring true (4).

The supporting use of the metaphor of the broken locket supports the impact of the piece. This metaphor unifies the scene and reiterates that the chains that have bound Sarah’s heart are broken (6).

For a secure Excellence, the student could address the credibility gap with respect to the daughter’s relationship with the father, as they intended. Consideration of the role of this relationship may have added to the layers of meaning and provided a more meaningful or deeper message.

Student 1 (PDF, 150KB)

High Merit

  CommentaryStudent response

For Merit, the student needs to script a coherent scene suitable for drama performance.

This involves scripting a drama structured to have flow and dramatic unity. There is a consideration of scene transitions that support these two qualities.

Script title: Trapped

The student has written a script that communicates its intention (1) in a manner that demonstrates examples of very credible action communicated with flow and dramatic unity throughout (2). The dialogue between the mother and daughter has light and shade that draws out the daughter’s frustration and the mother’s drunken unpredictability. Their relationship is developed and convincing (3).

To reach Excellence, the student needs to provide a more convincing emotional journey towards the final separation of the two women. They need to consider different ways to communicate the anger and hurt during this episode, so it doesn’t slip into an extended conflict, involving a lot of shouting that then dominates the action (4). Care with exclamation marks is also advised.

This final separation between mother and daughter needs more credibility to be convincing (5). The daughter seemed to be on her way out the door and yet seems taken aback by her mother’s epiphany (6). The student might be encouraged to consider what can be communicated without words in this instance.

Student 2 (PDF, 229KB)

Low Merit

  CommentaryStudent response

For Merit, the student needs to script a coherent scene suitable for drama performance.

This involves scripting a drama structured to have flow and dramatic unity. There is a consideration of scene transitions that support these two qualities.

Script title: I Take It Back

This student has written a script that is performable and has a fundamental dramatic unity. The scene is constructed with a flashback framed by two scenes set in a hospital room (1). The intention is communicated as it explores the conflict between the mother and daughter in order to highlight how important it is to tell people how much they mean to you (2).

In the central extract, the dialogue moves appropriately through the action, exploring tension through the use of shortened sentences and pause (3). The scene makes coherent sense. Its shape supports the audience’s understanding of the key events. Character relationships have been thought through and communicated consistently.

For a more secure Merit grade, the student needs to trust in their ability to ‘show’ rather than ‘tell’, and avoid the summing up of ideas in the final monologue (4). That, combined with more detailed consideration of how the scene might work on stage to avoid disruptive blackouts where the audience waits in the dark (5), would have supported the dramatic flow of the piece.

Student 3 (PDF, 146KB)

High Achieved

  CommentaryStudent response

For Achieved, the student needs to script a scene suitable for drama performance.

This involves scripting an original drama that is able to be performed. It communicates an intention and there is a clear storyline with developed characters.

Script title: Digging Deep

The student has scripted a scene that is original and can stand on its own. It communicates a dramatic intention (1) and is able to be performed. The characters in this piece are somewhat two dimensional, most suited to a ‘soap opera’. Although very broadly drawn, the characters behave in a credible and consistent way.

Character relationships have been communicated with consistency and are credible within their context, with a sense of dramatic unity within the piece. The drama progresses purposefully and the dialogue is economical. This supports the flow of the drama (2).

To reach Merit, the student could consider the genre more explicitly, or modify the characters until they became more fully rounded. The student would need to take a less cinematic approach, potentially deepening one or two key points, rather than trying to tell the whole story. Care needs to be taken to ensure that the story is not unduly fragmented with changes in locations and introductions of new characters to support dramatic flow needed for Merit (3).

Student 4 (PDF, 204KB)

Low Achieved

  CommentaryStudent response

For Achieved, the student needs to script a scene suitable for drama performance.

This involves scripting an original drama that is able to be performed. It communicates an intention and there is a clear storyline with developed characters.

Script title: Jamie

The student has scripted a scene that establishes a scenario and then extends the action to communicate a story or message (1). The use of two ‘Jamies’ is a useful and thoughtful convention (2). It does stand on its own and marginally meets the requirements of a ‘scene’. The intention is fundamentally served and the piece is performable at a rudimentary level.

For a more secure Achieved, the scene needs further refinement and editing to ensure it is economical in performance. Continuity of action needs to be considered so that the action is not broken with rapid changes of focus from the audience’s perspective. More depth and detail is needed so it is an exploration of an emotional journey as opposed to being more of a ‘sketch’.

Student 5 (PDF, 152KB)

 

High Not Achieved

  CommentaryStudent response

For Achieved, the student needs to script a scene suitable for drama performance.

This involves scripting an original drama that is able to be performed. It communicates an intention and there is a clear storyline with developed characters.

Script title: Discrimination

This student has scripted a scenario and establishes characters, location and

Situation (1).

The dialogue throughout the script goes around and around with the same thing being said in the same way several times until the antagonists leave (2).

To reach Achieved, the student could consider the outcome of the scenario. They needed to ‘make progress’ from the starting point in order to communicate the intention and move beyond the establishment of a scenario into the creation of a rounded scene with developed characters.

Student 6 (PDF, 149KB)

 
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