English - annotated exemplars level 1 AS90854

Form personal responses to independently read texts, supported by evidence (1.10)

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TKI English Assessment Resources

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Low Excellence

Commentary
Student response

Student 1 (PDF, 130KB)

For Excellence, the student needs to form perceptive personal responses to independently read texts, supported by evidence.

This involves demonstrating personal understandings of, engagement with, and/or expressing viewpoints on texts which show some insight in thought or reflection. This may also include responding to links between texts and self, and texts and world.

This student has independently selected and read the short story Raymond’s Run by Toni Cade Bambara as one of the six texts required. The student forms a perceptive personal response to the character development of Hazel (1), the narrator in the story. The student reflects, with some insight, on the impact and relevance of the story itself and the way it is has been told.

The student shows convincing understanding of Hazel’s personal likes and dislikes (2). The understanding becomes more meaningful and perceptive after Hazel ‘steps out of her own mind’ (3), causing the student to reflect on her own ‘self absorbed’ nature when she too has learned to ‘take a step out of my own head’ (4). The student recognises that this learning can relate to ‘many situations’ (6).

For a more secure Excellence, the student could, for example, provide examples and further reflect on ‘the way the story is told through Hazel’s eyes it makes for a closer connection to her character’ (5), discuss the significance of the title (Raymond’s Run), and expand on the ‘many situations’ (6).

High Merit

Commentary
Student response

Student 2 (PDF, 78KB)

For Merit, the student needs to form convincing personal responses to independently read texts, supported by evidence.

This involves demonstrating personal understandings of, engagement with, and/or expressing viewpoints on texts which are generally meaningful. This may also include responding to links between texts and self, and texts and world.

This student has independently selected and read the short story The Badness Within Him by Susan Hill as one of the six texts required. The student forms a convincing personal response, supported by details from the text, by demonstrating a meaningful personal engagement with the main character’s growing understanding and maturity.

The student understands the link between ‘the seat at the top of the cliff’ and Col’s coming to terms with his father’s death (1). The student recognises the importance of Col’s relationship with Jess, demonstrating a good understanding of the significance of relationships in general (2). The student’s convincing irritation with Jess shows his engagement and understanding of the differences between the two characters (3).

To reach Excellence, the student could, for example, provide further insight and understanding of ‘this event made the seat even more important’ (1) and the relationship with his sister which ‘helped him ... realise he is not to blame for his father’s death’ (2). Further explanation of the student’s understanding of the significance of the difference between the two children (3) could also be provided.

Low Merit

Commentary
Student response

Student 3 (PDF, 111KB)

For Merit, the student needs to form convincing personal responses to independently read texts, supported by evidence.

This involves demonstrating personal understandings of, engagement with, and/or expressing viewpoints on texts which are generally meaningful. This may also include responding to links between texts and self, and texts and world.

This student has independently selected and read the novel Twilight by Stephanie Myers as one of the six texts required. The student forms a generally convincing personal response, supported by specific details from the text, by demonstrating a personal engagement with one of the characters in the novel, Bella.

The student relates particularly to ideas of alienation, seeing similarities with Bella’s predicament and the way she herself has felt in the past (1), and to the conflicts involved in the making of choices, which the student sees as something that most teenagers can identify with (4). The student expresses a generally meaningful viewpoint about how love alters thinking, supported by evidence of Bella’s confusion.

For a more secure Merit, the student could respond further to the statements about ‘desire and temptation’ (2) and the choices the Cullens have to make about the conflict between their ‘nature’ and ‘normal lives’ (3). Further response, supported by specific details, could be made about the flaws this student sees in the text (5).

High Achieved

Commentary
Student response

Student 4 (PDF, 110KB)

For Achieved, the student needs to form personal responses to independently read texts, supported by evidence.

This involves demonstrating personal understandings of, engagement with, and/or expressing viewpoints on texts. This may also include responding to links between texts and self, and texts and world.

This student has independently selected and watched the film The Maze Runner directed by Wes Ball as one of the six texts required. The response demonstrates a personal engagement, understanding and admiration for the character Thomas.

The student makes links between the idea of bravery and an example of Thomas’s actions (1). The student engages with ideas about sacrifice, particularly for someone so recently met (2), and links this ‘admirable’ quality (5) with Mandela’s sacrifice and influence (3). The student expresses amazement that someone who is basically ‘ordinary’ behaves so heroically (4).

To reach Merit, the student could demonstrate a more meaningful response to the concepts of courage and heroism, supporting the positive responses and descriptors (‘inspired’, ‘influenced’, ‘amazing’, ‘admirable’) with more specific examples and references from the film.

Low Achieved

Commentary
Student response

Student 5 (PDF, 112KB)

For Achieved, the student needs to form personal responses to independently read texts, supported by evidence.

This involves demonstrating personal understandings of, engagement with, and/or expressing viewpoints on texts. This may also include responding to links between texts and self, and texts and world.

This student has independently selected and read Roald Dahl’s short story Lamb To The Slaughter as one of the six texts required.

The student has demonstrated sufficient understanding of the complexity of human relationships, supported by specific examples from the short story, to meet the standard. The student questions the strength of the couple’s relationship (2), understands that ‘there is another side to human beings’ (4) and expresses the viewpoint that ‘a bad relationship can be fatal’ (5).

For a more secure Achieved, the student could provide further support and explanation for the statements that the story ‘made me appreciate the justice system’ (1) and that the story ‘makes me appreciate the country I live in’ (3).

High Not Achieved

Commentary
Student response

Student 6 (PDF, 78KB)

For Achieved, the student needs to form personal responses to independently read texts, supported by evidence.

This involves demonstrating personal understandings of, engagement with, and/or expressing viewpoints on texts. This may also include responding to links between texts and self, and texts and world.

This student has independently selected and read George Orwell’s novel Animal Farm as one of the six texts required.

The student has begun to form a personal response by demonstrating a personal engagement with the text. This engagement is identified as a feeling of connection with the animals and the situation (1), particularly because of the simple language used in telling the story (2).

To reach Achieved, the student could support the personal engagement with specific examples, references and/or details from the text itself. Examples could be given of the ‘simple language’ (2) used, and of the student’s feelings when Napoleon's exploitation of the other animals is described by the author (3).

 
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