English - annotated exemplars level 1 AS90855

Create a visual text (1.7)

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TKI English Assessment Resources

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Low Excellence

Commentary
Student response

Student 1 (PDF, 1.2MB)

For Excellence, the student needs to:

  • develop and structure ideas effectively in a visual text
  • use language features appropriate to purpose and audience, with control, to command attention in a visual text.

This involves delivering a confident and sustained text which has compelling and well-organised ideas and structure.

The student effectively develops and structures ideas in a poster about the treatment of people during WWII.  Compelling and well-organised links are made using symbols, quotation and a combination of found images and illustration, to present, connect and build on ideas about the treatment of people during war.

The image of the train, with the cow catcher at the front (1), represents the trains that were used to remove people from their homes. It also symbolises the ruthless momentum and destructive power of Stalinist Russia. Contrast (2) is used to symbolise the dominance of ideas over people’s lives. The train, tracks and flag (symbolising the nationality of victims), are in colour, whereas the people themselves are grey and shadowy.

The selection of the quote (3) builds on the idea of the dehumanisation that happens with the dominance of ideology, and is reinforced by the wire suggesting the fencing in of the victims.

To reach Excellence more securely, the image of the train could be less cartoonish in style, so that the serious tone of the ideas of power and dehumanisation is sustained.

High Merit

Commentary
Student response

Student 2 (PDF, 144KB)

For Merit, the student needs to:

  • develop and structure ideas convincingly in a visual text
  • use language features appropriate to audience and purpose, with control, in a visual text.

This involves the generally credible and connected development of ideas and structure, and the selection of language features and presentation techniques that are linked to the intended purpose and audience.

The student develops and structures ideas convincingly in a road safety poster. Connections are made using a range of symbols to present convincingly developed ideas on the balancing act of texting and driving. This is shown in the awkward way that the phone is held between the finger (1), suggesting how dangerous it is. A clear message given with the large text stating ‘Stop It’ (2).

The student uses language features appropriate to the purpose and audience with control. Some use of colour and symbols is effective. The placement of the imperative ‘Stop it!’ between the top to the bottom of the dominant image helps to unify the image.

To reach Excellence, the language features used need to command attention. This may be achieved through colour selection and proportion. It is unclear why 'it!' is white, outlined in red. A larger font for the second part of the slogan (3) could be used to reinforce the importance of the danger of texting while driving.

Low Merit

Commentary
Student response

Student 3 (PDF, 136KB)

For Merit, the student needs to:

  • develop and structure ideas convincingly in a visual text
  • use language features appropriate to audience and purpose, with control, in a visual text.

This involves the generally credible and connected development of ideas and structure, and the selection of language features and presentation techniques that are linked to the intended purpose and audience.

The student develops and structures ideas convincingly in a poster based on ideas from a film. Convincing connections are made, using a range of symbols to present developed ideas about the belief in hope in a bleak situation, and that hope prevails even in the darkest of places.

Language features that are appropriate to the audience and purpose are used, with some control. The colour of the outside world contrasts well with the darkness of the prison cell (1). The outline of a dove encapsulating the prisoner (2) symbolises his hope of freedom and emphasises that however bad the situation is, it cannot destroy that hope.

For a more secure Merit, the student could use language features with more control, for example: by reworking the image of the prisoner so that his head is tilted towards the window, to reinforce the idea of hope; by placing the quotation more appropriately, so that it is more connected to the figure, to suggest the prisoner’s belief in his hope for freedom.

High Achieved

Commentary
Student response

Student 4 (PDF, 105KB)

For Achieved, the student needs to:

  • develop and structure ideas in a visual text
  • use language features appropriate to audience and purpose in a visual text.

This involves building on ideas and working towards a planned whole by adding details or examples.

The student develops and structures ideas in a poster advertising a bank. The slogan ‘Kidsaver has a 5% interest rate so money grows just as fast as your child’ (1) adds details about the banking product. Connections are made using a range of symbols to present developed ideas on the growth of money in a child-specific savings account, and the guaranteed monetary growth as compared to a child's growth.

The student sometimes uses language features that are appropriate to the audience and purpose with control. The childlike writing (2) and the found image of the child measuring herself (3) link to the intended purpose and audience, attracting young savers and their parents.

To reach Merit, the student could develop the idea of monetary growth more convincingly. For example, more convincing links between regular monetary growth and children’s more varied growth rates could be made.

Low Achieved

Commentary
Student response

Student 5 (PDF, 158KB)

For Achieved, the student needs to:

  • develop and structure ideas in a visual text
  • use language features appropriate to audience and purpose in a visual text.

This involves building on ideas and working towards a planned whole by adding details or examples.

The student develops and structures ideas in a poster promoting family awareness. The student makes connections using a range of found images, to present just sufficiently developed ideas about parental responsibility.

Language features appropriate to audience and purpose are used. The upper half of the poster depicts conflict amongst parents (1). The lower half of the poster depicts the consequences of this for children (2). The slogan (3) connects the conflict and consequences by reminding parents of their responsibilities.

For a more secure Achieved, ideas could be built on so that the poster is a planned whole. For example: building on the idea presented in the torn image in white and red that shows one figure detached from the family (the message of the idea could be more connected by portraying the family torn in half); considering the use of the small colour image in the bottom left corner, showing a male and female together (they seem out of sequence with the other images of distressed children in huddled positions).

High Not Achieved

Commentary
Student response

Student 6 (PDF, 972KB)

For Achieved, the student needs to

  • develop and structure ideas in a visual text
  • use language features appropriate to audience and purpose in a visual text.

This involves building on ideas by adding details or examples by working toward a planned whole.

The student presents an image that portrays elements of the setting and story of On the Sidewalk Bleeding.  There is the use of language features, such as colour, layout, quotation and images, to present a character and event in the short story. These elements include: the purple banner with the word 'Royal' covering the figure, representing the royal purple jacket worn by Andy (1); blood on the figure's head, illustrating that the figure is bleeding (2); the quotation (3) identifying the character in the story and suggesting the idea of a struggle of identity.

To reach Achieved, the student must develop the idea presented in the quotation so that the various elements work together to build on ideas about Andy’s struggle for identity.

 
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