English - annotated exemplars level 1 AS90857

Construct and deliver an oral text (1.6)

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This annotated exemplar is intended for teacher use only. The student work shown does not always represent a complete sample of what is required. Selected extracts are used, focused on the grade boundaries, in order to assist assessors to make judgements at the national standard.

Low Excellence

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For Excellence, the student needs to construct, prepare and deliver an effective oral text that commands attention.

This involves developing and structuring ideas effectively, and using appropriate oral language features with control to command attention.

This student has constructed and delivered a dramatic monologue, in the role of Hera from the Patricia Grace short story A Way of Talking. Events are recounted using a well-organised chronological structure, with a compelling development of ideas through comments, details, information and reflection. This effective development of ideas creates a credible conversation, even though the student presents only one side of that dialogue.

The student’s use of oral language features is appropriate to the audience and purpose, and generally commands their attention. The tone is reflective, as is appropriate to the ideas in the monologue. The pace of delivery, including appropriate hesitations, pauses and silences, is controlled and confidently sustained.

For a more secure Excellence, the student could command attention throughout the text through further changes in tone, volume and body language to maintain audience interest in the characters being discussed.

High Merit

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For Merit, the student needs to construct, prepare and deliver a convincing oral text that is controlled.

This involves developing and structuring ideas convincingly, and using appropriate oral language features with control.

This student has constructed and delivered a speech about the problems of warfare. The opening presents a series of images of life/death of an unknown soldier that introduces the idea of the historic persistence of war. The student builds on this idea convincingly by linking and developing points about changes in warfare over the twentieth century, and responses to it.

The student’s voice is controlled, with the selection of a serious tone that supports the ideas being developed. The stance and use of gesture are appropriate. Their use of verbal language techniques, such as the symbol of the unknown soldier that opens and closes the speech, and the repetition of short sentences at the start, occasionally commands attention.

To reach Excellence, the student could command attention throughout the text through further use of body language, such as eye contact, to maintain audience interest in the ideas being developed. Slowing the pace could also support a more confident delivery.

Low Merit

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For Merit, the student needs to construct, prepare and deliver a convincing oral text that is controlled.

This involves developing and structuring ideas convincingly and using appropriate oral language features with control.  

This student has constructed and delivered a speech about writing music. The introduction begins with a rhetorical question and lists the five steps of the process. The speech is credible and connected in structure as the steps are explained and supported by examples, details and listing. The presentation ends by summarising the process of composition and acknowledging its relevance to the audience.

The student’s voice is clear, with a regular pace and some vocal variation that supports the ideas presented. Oral language features such as rhetorical questions, metaphors, e.g. “key building blocks”, and personal pronouns are appropriately selected and linked to the purpose and audience.

For a more secure Merit, the student could select and use language features with further control. A greater level of personal engagement with the topic through the use of gesture, facial expression and tone could establish greater rapport and links with the audience. 

High Achieved

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For Achieved, the student needs to construct, prepare and deliver an oral text that is appropriate to audience and purpose.

This involves developing and structuring ideas, and using appropriate language features.

This student has constructed and delivered a speech about the perception of beauty and how it is shaped by the media and society. Information, observations, statistics and reflections about beauty are built on and linked, using a credible structure of introduction, development of three main points and a conclusion that reinforces the student’s message about personal acceptance.

The student uses oral language features that are appropriate to audience and purpose. This includes speaking clearly, a generally serious tone that is appropriate to the ideas being argued, and vocal emphasis of key points. There is some use of body language that is selected and linked to the purpose and audience, including eye contact and occasional gesture.

To reach Merit, the student could make more frequent and controlled use of oral language features. Less reliance on notes and more eye contact with the audience could establish a better rapport with the audience.

Low Achieved

Commentary
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For Achieved, the student needs to construct, prepare and deliver an oral text that is appropriate to audience and purpose.

This involves developing and structuring ideas, and using appropriate oral language features.

This student has constructed and delivered an affirmative debate speech about violence and anti-smacking laws. The opening rebuttal to the previous speaker is followed by an appropriately developed case to support the position of his team. This is an appropriate structure for this debating purpose.

Ideas about the topic are given through information, opinion and argument. These are built on through details and examples, such as reference to expert opinions and studies. The use of current slogans such as ‘family violence – it’s not ok’ and statistics such as ’70 percent’ supports the development of the case.

The student uses oral language features that are just sufficiently appropriate to audience and purpose. This includes speaking clearly, a serious tone that is appropriate to the ideas being argued, vocal emphasis of a few key words, and altering the pace of delivery at the end.

For a more secure Achieved, the student could select oral language features that are more appropriate to the debating role and purpose. Less reliance on notes, more eye contact with the audience and further use of vocal volume and pace would be appropriate.

High Not Achieved

Commentary

For Achieved, the student needs to construct, prepare and deliver an oral text that is appropriate to audience and purpose.

This involves developing and structuring ideas and using appropriate oral language features.

Student work is not available at this grade. A student at this grade may, for example, construct and present a talk about a New Zealand band. The student would begin with a personal introduction and state the topic. Information about the band would be given in chronological order, starting with names of band members, performances and recording details, followed by personal opinion about the band’s fans.

A student at this level would use some vocal language features such as a generally appropriate pace of delivery. Eye contact and facial expression may be used in the personal introduction. 

To reach Achieved, the student’s talk must develop ideas beyond listing information. For example, personal opinion could be linked to information to build on ideas about how the band has significance for the speaker, structuring it so that the talk is working towards a planned whole. Ideas at curriculum level 6 need to be comprehensive, and show an understanding of a range of dimensions or viewpoints.

The student must use language features that are appropriate to a talk by relying less on notes, and varying their vocal delivery so that it shifts from being a reading of notes to a talk to an audience.

 
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