English - annotated exemplars level 2 AS91103

Create a crafted and controlled visual and verbal text (2.6)

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This annotated exemplar is intended for teacher use only. The student work shown does not always represent a complete sample of what is required. Selected extracts are used, focused on the grade boundaries, in order to assist assessors to make judgements at the national standard.

Low Excellence

Commentary
Student work extract

Student 1 (PDF, 14MB)

For Excellence, the student needs to create an effective crafted and controlled visual and verbal text that commands attention.

This involves developing, sustaining and structuring ideas effectively and using appropriate language features to create meaning, effects and audience engagement.

This student has created a visual sequence on Shakespeare’s Sonnet CXLIV, by using original and adapted components. The central idea of a relationship is generally sustained effectively through the development and connections made between ideas about jealousy, temptation and conflict. This idea becomes compelling and persuasive as it is sustained across the text.

Visual language features are used in a skilled and inventive way. The collage of pages from Othello creates meaning by building on ideas of jealousy that are common to both texts. The deliberate and sustained use of the image of the apple and tree creates effective symbolism, reinforcing ideas of temptation and good/evil that are sustained through images of the central figures.

For a more secure Excellence, the student could further sustain ideas about relationships. A few images tend towards illustration of the couplet used in the quote, rather than sustaining that idea visually. 

High Merit

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Student work extract

Student 2 (PDF, 1.7MB)

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For Merit, the student needs to create a crafted and controlled visual and verbal text that is convincing.

This involves developing, sustaining and structuring ideas convincingly and using appropriate language features to create meaning, effects and audience interest.

This student has created a Prezi sequence on Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaiden’s Tale. Ideas of contrasting public and private responses are sustained convincingly. Offred’s outward acceptance is shown through the appearance of the bedroom as opposed to the hour glass and drawer, which represent her inner anguish/increasing fear that that she is doomed and there is no escape or rescue from the situation.

Visual language features are deliberately selected to create meaning and effects. Meaning is created through deliberate selection, juxtaposition and transitions of images, quotes and the student’s own writing. Symbols such as the hourglass, book, eye and drawer are deliberated linked and connected to the central image of the bedroom. The transition between images creates audience interest and builds meaning.

To reach Excellence, the student could make a more skilled and sustained use of visual language features. A more concise use of written text and further consideration of font colour and size are needed to create meaning and audience engagement.

Low Merit

Commentary
Student work extract

Student 3 (PDF, 959KB)

For Merit, the student needs to create a crafted and controlled visual and verbal text that is convincing.

This involves developing, sustaining and structuring ideas convincingly and using appropriate language features to create meaning, effects and audience interest.

This student has created a montage, triggered by ideas in Beyoncé’s song Pretty Hurts. This montage convincingly sustains the idea of the contrast between the outward appearance and the painful ‘stripped to the bone’ reality involved in conforming to beauty norms.

Visual and verbal language features are deliberately selected to create meaning, effects and audience interest. Quotations, along with images of cosmetic surgery, bulimia and size 0 clothing have been placed around the central frame. The colour red emphasises pain and hurt, symbolising the undertone of the media’s concept of ‘being pretty’.

The idea of the pain of being pretty is sustained by images such as ‘lifting’ of the flap of skin to get at the ‘soul’, which really ‘needs the surgery’, and the ironic juxtaposition of an emaciated body with the line ‘Vogue says thinner is better’. The connections between the images and selected quotations sustain the idea so that it is mostly clear and reasoned.

For a more secure Merit, the student could sustain some ideas more convincingly by moving beyond illustration. There could be further consideration of the abstract, rather than just the physical, in lines such as ‘it’s the soul that needs surgery’. Linking ideas about beauty to societal rather than individual concerns could sustain ideas more convincingly.

High Achieved

Commentary
Student work extract

Student 4 (PDF, 10MB)

For Achieved, the student needs to create a crafted and controlled visual and verbal text that is appropriate to audience and purpose.

This involves developing, sustaining and structuring ideas and using appropriate language features to create meaning and effects.

This student has created a visual sequence based on Glen Colquhoun’s poem The Trick of Standing Upright Here, by using components from a variety of sources. The idea of biculturalism in New Zealand is sustained across the text. This is communicated by building on and making connections between the selected quotes, student’s own writing, visual details and examples that are based on the poem.

Meaning is created visually through the selection of symbols of Pakeha and Maori cultures. This becomes sustained through the repetition and shift of layout and use of colour across the sequence. For example, the division of cultures in the first slide, the large cross and the crossover of background images in the second slide, the full colour and combining of symbols in the last slide.

The choice of layout creates audience interest, and the text is crafted and controlled.

To reach Merit, the student needs to deliberately use font and patterns to create meaning and audience interest. The third slide could be more deliberately crafted so that it becomes convincing overall.

Low Achieved

Commentary
Student work extract

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For Achieved, the student needs to create a crafted and controlled visual and verbal text that is appropriate to audience and purpose.

This involves developing, sustaining and structuring ideas and using appropriate language features to create meaning and effects.

This student has created a digital visual essay on Apirana Taylor’s poem The Womb, by using components from a variety of sources.

The idea that is sustained across the text is the relationship between the land and people. This is communicated by using words from Taylor’s poem and the student’s own written text. Visual language is used to develop ideas about damage done to the land by people and how nature (personified) feels. These are connected to the idea of sustainability and consequences of environmental pressure.

The selection and deliberate use of layout, symbols, colour palette, animation and images means that the text is crafted and controlled. Layout choices are planned so that there is an overall coherence to the text. Most slides, such as the moving lips/central skulls and the crying tree, use visual effects that create meaning.

For a more secure Achieved, the student could consider the use of written text. In some places the pronouns in the quotations and in the student’s own writing do not create meaning. 

There could be further use of visual language to develop and sustain ideas, rather than illustrating written text. Sometimes the image illustrates rather than develops the written text, e.g. the photos of the results of the earthquake and tsunami.

High Not Achieved

Commentary
Student work extract

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For Achieved, the student needs to create a crafted and controlled visual and verbal text that is appropriate to audience and purpose.

This involves developing, sustaining and structuring ideas and using appropriate language features to create meaning and effects.

This student has created a PowerPoint sequence on Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, by using components from a variety of sources.

The idea ‘How can love come from conflict?’ is identified in the second slide. The image communicates the idea of divided romantic love. There is a link between ‘beliefs’ in the written text and the religious symbol also in the image. Over the sequence there are other ideas developed about characters, plot and ill-fated love of Romeo and Juliet.

The student has used some language features appropriately to communicate the idea of love between Romeo and Juliet. Some of the found images build on ideas in the written text.

To reach Achieved, the student must establish a central idea, building on and sustaining it throughout the whole sequence. Although some of the various ideas in the sequence are developed, they are not sufficiently connected to be sustained.

The student must deliberately select language features to create meaning and effects. The visual text is not yet crafted sufficiently to achieve a planned whole. For example, the selection of some written text statements and visual symbols in the two ‘personality’ slides do not build on or connect to each other. The repetition of the money symbol does not create meaning.

 
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