English - annotated exemplar Level 3 AS91477 (B)

Create a fluent and coherent visual text which develops, sustains, and structures ideas using verbal and visual language (3.6)

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This annotated exemplar is intended for teacher use only. The student work shown does not always represent a complete sample of what is required. Selected extracts are used, focused on the grade boundaries, in order to assist assessors to make judgements at the national standard.

Low Excellence

Commentary
Student work extract

Student 1 (PDF, 2.6MB)

For Excellence, the student needs to create a fluent and coherent visual text which develops, sustains and structures ideas, using verbal and visual language, and commands attention.

This involves demonstrating a sophisticated understanding of audience and purpose through the insightful selection and integration of ideas, visual language features, and structure to create a striking whole.

This student has created a graphic short story about the trauma of grief and madness. The narrative short structure and conventions of the Manga style have been used to create a text that is a striking whole.

A sophisticated understanding of narrative purpose is shown through the crisis (1) and resolution (the break up/breakthrough) (2) of the integrated character ‘Kyouki’ (madness/insanity). The text leaves the reader with questions about the number of characters, responsibility for the fire and reality itself. These are convincingly coherent as they are integrated with ideas of the causes and effects of trauma.

The insightful selection of language features is sustained throughout the text. Dual dialogue use, changes in font and frame size, are generally integrated with the narrative. The symbolism of ‘cracking’ (which is both literal and figurative) commands attention by demonstrating a discriminating understanding of the effects of trauma. The use of questions, a close up of the drained face, movement lines, and the placement of images in frames are all integrated with this idea.

For a more secure Excellence, the student could make the reader’s immersion into the conflict and events on page one less demanding by more effectively developing the ideas about the cause of madness.

High Merit

Commentary
Student work extract

Student 2 (PDF, 2.1MB)

For Merit, the student needs to create a fluent and coherent visual text which develops, sustains and structures ideas, using verbal and visual language, and is convincing.

This involves demonstrating a discerning understanding of audience and purpose through the discriminating selection and integration of ideas, visual language features, and structure.

This student has created a graphic short story about loneliness and ways of coping with it in a school setting. It has been completed in pen and pencil and influenced by the Scott Pilgrim graphic novel set.

There is a discriminating selection of language features and narrative structure to develop and sustain the idea of behaviours and reasons for them (1). The integration of the title, the images of stationery in many of the frames, the narrative that shifts between present and past, and the central ideas, is convincingly fluent and coherent. There is a discerning understanding of purpose through use of dialogue.

The student sustains the idea of loneliness convincingly on the final page. The black background of the final frame on page is the narrative transition to the character’s past. Ideas of the loneliness and behaviour of the character are integrated through her past. The narrative provides a convincingly coherent and fluent understanding by allowing the comic to operate on two levels (strange girl/ lonely girl) (2).

To reach Excellence, the student could sustain the insightful use of language features (e.g. as seen in plate 2) across the whole text.

Low Merit

Commentary
Student work extract

Student 3 (PDF, 992KB)

For Merit, the student needs to create a fluent and coherent visual text which develops, sustains and structures ideas, using verbal and visual language, and is convincing.

This involves demonstrating a discerning understanding of audience and purpose through the discriminating selection and integration of ideas, visual language features, and structure.

This student has created a graphic short story about repeating time, using the conventions of the Manga style.

Language features are generally striking. Onomatopoeia emphasises the narrative drama of the opening event on plate 1. The broken iPod symbolises the loss of life, as does the broken glass in the final two frames. The watch symbol demonstrates a discriminating integration of the idea of time (1).

Ideas and language features are integrated in a mostly discriminating way. The unreal/repeated nature of this event is shown (2). The large frame (3) creates a convincing repetition of ideas on plate 1. The idea of time is developed as the use of the hand (4) shows it slow down. This is linked to the dialogue ‘this time’. 

The narrative concludes with the repetition of the image of the fob watch as the three friends walk away safely from the train barrier. This reinforces time as a cyclical concept. The written text is on a blurred background. These features create consistency in meaning and effect, as both sustain the idea of an abstract nature of time.

For a more secure Merit, the student could further integrate developed, sustained ideas about time and its consequences.

High Achieved

Commentary
Student work extract

Student 4 (PDF, 1.9MB)

For Achieved, the student needs to create a fluent and coherent visual text which develops, sustains and structures ideas, using verbal and visual language.

This involves demonstrating understanding of audience and purpose through the development of ideas and links between them throughout a visual text. It also involves the selection and use of structures and visual language features appropriate to the particular visual text, to create consistency in meaning and effect and to sustain interest.

This student has created a graphic short story about belonging and jealousy in a school setting.

Visual language features are used to develop and sustain the ideas. The use of colour, along with the title and symbolism of the dripping and pool of blood supports narrative coherence (1). The student’s discriminating use of visual language features such as the use of shading (a faceless group) and repeated images of the line of girls with snippets of dialogue in several frames creates cohesion through setting.

Ideas about jealousy are sustained through the written text and the note. This develops the difference between the two characters and their relationship with the group. It adds coherence to the narrative through locker numbers and the student’s name (3). The use of black, the large font, the reversal of font, dialogue and the illustration of the character’s actions develop the idea of jealousy through the character’s rage (4).

To reach Merit, the student could further sustain ideas about jealousy through the idea of consequences that is in the title, the red pools, and the final image.

Low Achieved

Commentary
Student work extract

Student 5 (PDF, 2.4MB)

For Achieved, the student needs to create a fluent and coherent visual text which develops, sustains and structures ideas, using verbal and visual language.

This involves demonstrating understanding of audience and purpose through the development of ideas and links between them throughout a visual text. It also involves the selection and use of structures and visual language features appropriate to the particular visual text, to create consistency in meaning and effect and to sustain interest.

This student has created a graphic short story about the pressures of exam time/assessment and developing strategies to overcome them.

Ideas are developed and sustained by the selection and use of symbolism. The closed door and attacking stationery and numbers (1) create ideas about fear. The entrapment and breaking free from the science beaker (2) develops and links ideas about exam pressure and finding ways to deal with this. Throughout the text the student has balanced close, mid and long views which sustain audience interest.

The idea of obstacles to overcoming exam pressures is sustained by the broken frame in the middle page. The student selects background detail and dialogue to ensure that the setting and narrative is established while the overall appearance of the text is coherent. The student maintains coherence of the idea through the conflict and resolution between the character and the exam paper.

For a more secure Achieved, the student could use visual features more fluently on plates 3 and 4 to sustain interest. Ideas could be further developed.

High Not Achieved

Commentary
Student work extract

Student 6 (PDF, 1.7MB)

For Achieved, the student needs to create a fluent and coherent visual text which develops, sustains and structures ideas, using verbal and visual language.

This involves demonstrating understanding of audience and purpose through the development of ideas and links between them throughout a visual text. It also involves the selection and use of structures and visual language features appropriate to the particular visual text, to create consistency in meaning and effect and to sustain interest.

This student has created a graphic short story about friendship and the idea of escaping boredom through adventure in another world.

The student begins to create consistency in meaning and effect by using graphic story conventions such as layout and framing (1). The written text in the square boxes in frames 2 and 3 introduces the relationship and sense of boredom of main characters, which is reinforced by the pen and pencil illustrations (2).

Plate 2 develops the story, with the other-worldly setting and battle between Joel and the Chaos Lord (3). Plate 3 contains the climax (the killing of the enemy), rescue of Serith and return to the ordinary world (4). Their boredom has been resolved as ‘our lives are interesting now’.

To reach Achieved, the student could sustain the idea of overcoming boredom. The use of virtual adventure with return to ordinary world limits this development. The role of the female character in the central narrative could be clearer, creating a more coherent text overall. The use of written text use in the dialogue requires more fluency.

 
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